Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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