we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
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I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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