i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
