Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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