Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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