dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
