hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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