I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
