Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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