Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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