My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I bet he comes in French.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
