is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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