I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
