My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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