Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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