dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
