in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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