Acid is not a monday night drug
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
