: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
