omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My cat gives me a boner
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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