I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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