On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
