thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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