U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Nicole vs. Life
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
