wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
