I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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