Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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