You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
