i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
