Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
