Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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