textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize