The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
