in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
