You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
