I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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