i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
