weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
