Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this boner is exhausting
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
