I didn't shave. On purpose
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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