Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
