Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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