Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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