Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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