fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
