we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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