dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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