guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can text with my tongue
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
