Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
