My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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