She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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