State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
