Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
