okay pat passed out under dana's car
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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