Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
