If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
