Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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