It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
