weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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