Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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