Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
