I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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