we're blogging at a bar
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize