I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
