HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
