clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
