The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
